Effects of Stress on Kids
The kids are driving me crazy and no one is helping!” This or something similar has crossed many a mom’s lips. When things get to be too much, often the ones in the parents direct path take the brunt of the frustration. The way a mom or dad deals with their stress can have a huge affect on their kids. Remember, kids learn from us, and I know when I get upset it can be hard to control my feelings, but it is important to ask ourselves, if we lash out, or get upset, what is that teaching our kids, and how will that affect the way our kids will deal with stressful situations.
Stress can be both good and bad. When we respond favourably in stressful situations, we learn to cope with the event and go on. A positive attitude keeps us looking for the bright side of the situation. No matter how long it lasts, it won’t last forever.
Distress is when stressful situations turn bad. Instead of directing our frustration in the direction of the problem or seeking someone to listen, we make our kids the target. Moms and dads may not set out to do this, but high stress has a way of making us act in a manner that is not the way we normally act. This in no way means that the parent don’t love their children, but remember, the child may not understand this.
Many kids tend to be visual little people. They learn by watching us. If our attitude is negative they will pick up on it.
Kids sense changes in the climate of their home. This includes a change in a mother’s temperament. When mom gets angry, kids know it. If children are used to seeing their mom smiling and laughing, hearing her get angry or shouting can frighten them. They may run and hide.
Whenever mom is like that, kids will turn away. They may learn to shut down themselves if they think that something they say or do will cause mom to get this way. When stress causes a mom to lash out at her kids, they may believe that they are the cause of the anger.
Stress can lead to impatience. Moms, and Dads can easily become impatient with their kids without even realizing it. If mom or dad is going to be late for work, she or he may rush a child to finish their breakfast. Slow eating can lead to the parent getting upset or the bowl being left on the table with food still in it. Kids learn to be impatient with others and the parent may notice this when they see their child playing with its siblings. The child will rush others or snatch toys away even if it makes the other children cry.
Parents who are stressed can stress out their children. But if they manage stress in positive ways, they will teach valuable lessons to their children. No matter what situation arises, the way that a mom acts towards her children is important. Children will always scream, holler and cry even when things are going well. Separating the stressful event from the behaviour of the children gives them security that mom’s love and care doesn’t change at these times.
Stress affects kids. When a parent is stressed and it shows in her behaviour towards the kids, they learn to become guarded. Stress management is important to maintain a healthy relationship between mother and children. The best advice, when you feel a stressed out, give your child a hug, it may not only help you, but teach your child how to deal positively with stress and give your child a lesson that will last a lifetime.
Stress Free Kids
Our products will introduce you and your children to the proven techniques of deep breathing, progressive muscular relaxation, visualizations, and affirmations/positive statements. The first to introduce research-based, stress management techniques in this unique storytelling format, we have been embraced by psychologists, child life care specialists, teachers, counselors, parents, and most importantly, children.
Also offering CDs for teens and adults, we want to help every family member to better manage stress, anxiety and anger.
Stress Free Kids offers a variety of products that help children to better manage stress, anxiety and anger while promoting a child’s self-esteem. Improved stress management for children evolves from a better understanding of the causes of kids’ stress. Here are some important guidelines to help you with your kids’ stress management:
- Be aware that change, be it positive or negative, creates stress for most kids.
- Make time to relax and schedule downtime for your children
- Show your child how to maintain a positive outlook, stop the chatter and lists in their heads, and take their mind off of their worries.
Here are some proven techniques you can use to help with stress management for your children:
- Use affirmations or positive statements to counteract kids’ stress.
Teach your children to take a break and say, “I am calm. I am relaxed. I am peaceful. I am happy. I am safe.” Write one down and have your child carry it in their pocket for the day. Put a list in the back of their school notebook for them to access at any time.
- Create visualizations – imagining can be both fun and effective.
Create a story or scene that your child can listen to with their eyes closed. Go for a calming ride on a cloud or float in a bubble. Slide down a rainbow and encourage your child to create their own relaxing story. Let them write it down or record it and then let them relax mom or dad with their visualization.
- Practice controlled breathing.
Taking slow deep breaths can help lower a child’s anxiety and anger, allowing hyperactive children or those that suffer from ADHD to bring their energy level down a notch and feel in charge of themselves. If your one of your children is over-stimulated or on a verge of a temper tantrum, have them focus on their breathing and soothe themselves. Diaphragmatic breathing brings more oxygen to the body with less effort. Breathe in 2,3,4 and out 2,3,4. In 2,3,4 and out 2,3,4. Encourage your child to show one of their dolls or stuffed animals this technique.
- Use progressive muscle relaxation to help your child to fall asleep.
Relax your child’s mind and body by telling various muscle groups to relax. Start with your child’s feet and work your way up to their head or reverse the order. After a few tries your child will be able to use this technique on their own. “I am going to relax my legs. I will relax my legs. My legs are relaxing. My legs are relaxed.” For a variation, try active progressive muscular relaxation. Tighten muscle groups and relax. “Hold, hold, hold…..Ahhhhh…”
These are just a few of the techniques we employ for producing stress free children. We offer books, CDs and child stress management curriculums and we invite you to explore our entire site to learn more about how you can better deal with kids and stress.
Sea Otter Cove is one of four stories on the Indigo Ocean Dreams CD where children learn about diaphragmatic (belly) breathing. This effective, self-calming technique can have a positive impact on your child’s health. Proper breathing can lower stress and anxiety levels. It can be used to decrease pain and anger.
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