SUCCESSFUL MEETINGS WITH YOUR CHILD’S TEACHER
Parents often tell us that they want to speak to their child’s teacher but are very concerned that they may antagonize the teacher and make the situation worse. Knowing how to approach the school can make it far easier - often the parents’ attitude can make the difference between developing a very successful working relationship, or not.
Realistic Expectations
When approaching your child’s school or teacher, it’s most important to be realistic in your expectations of the teacher:
She is not a miracle worker. Remember that she has a class of children and each one has individual needs which she must try to meet. In addition she probably has several learners who may need as much attention as your child (if not more).
Keep in mind that, like any other person, she has weaknesses and strong points, good days and bad days and that trying to teach an impulsive, disruptive and inattentive learner is never easy. There are no simple solutions. She also needs time-out to recover!
Problem-Solving Opportunity
When setting up the meeting, make sure that it is just as convenient for the teacher as it is for you. Don’t confront them with your concerns in the pool, cinema, mall, church, or if they are hurrying to another meeting. Bear in mind that you cannot solve a serious problem over the phone.
At the meeting it’s best to keep a cool head, and show you are willing to listen to the teacher’s point of view. When concerned about our children it’s so easy to become emotional or defensive. Often we blame the teacher for all the difficulties, or even ourselves. This doesn’t really help. Also, avoid constantly referring to last year’s teacher that was so excellent
Try to regard the meeting as a problem solving opportunity – one in which both parties are working together to find the best solution. You could also ask the teacher what the most difficult problem is they have with your child at school, and try to help them to solve this problem. If she comes up with reasonable suggestions, be prepared to try them.
Easy Communication
Our expectations are realistic, we’ve set up a meeting, and have solutions. To keep things running smoothly, we need easy communication between parent and teacher:
Both parents and teacher should agree on the form of communication to be used. Examples are notes in the diary, or a note in the child’s lunch box. At all times try to keep an open mind to suggestions and do your best to support the teacher.
If something is really not working, discuss it with her, without any implied criticism and work together with her to find a solution. Make sure to send positive notes to school. Acknowledging the teacher’s support of the learner will build the relationship.
Take advantage of the chance to talk with your child’s teacher during arrival time (but only if she is comfortably able to do so). Keep the teacher updated on positive developments or of any problems of which they should be aware. Try to make these chats brief and positive as this can help to build relationships of trust.
The educator has specialized knowledge and understanding of child development and education, the parents have in-depth knowledge of their own individual child and circumstances. By cooperating, educators & parents bring together two important parts of the child’s world.
From ADHASA Keeping up with ADD May/June 2010 www.adhasa.co.za
Taken from a presentation by Danie Lodewyckx, ADHASA Vaal Area Regional Coordinator.
Website: www.adhasa.co.za |
